High Times with Sasuke and Naruto
by sasunaruyaoiluvr4eva
Summary: "Damn," said Sasuke, coughing up thick smoke, passing the blunt back to Naruto.  "Riiiiiiiiiiiight?" said Naruto, taking another drag off the blunt.  ***RATED M FOR STONEY ADVENTURES AND LANGUAGE  **NOT YAOI-sorry
1. Chapter 1

High Times with Sasuke and Naruto

"Sasuke, how come you're so quiet all the time?" asked the tall blonde boy hanging upside down from the tree branch his raven haired friend was sitting under.

"I don't know Naruto, how come you're always so loud and giggly like a school girl?" replied Sasuke.

Naruto gave a course laugh.

"Wanna find out?" he said, dropping from the branch and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

The brunette slowly arched one brow…

"Damn," said Sasuke, coughing up thick smoke, passing the blunt back to Naruto.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight?" said Naruto, taking another drag off the blunt.

TWO HOURS AND THREE BLUNTS LATER…

Sasuke was doubled over laughing hysterically at something Naruto said, falling backwards into the bathtub. They had hot boxed Naruto's bathroom, which was now hazy with smoke. He tried to catch his breath, but he just _couldn't _stop laughing. Naruto was looking at him in the funniest way.

The Uchiha's eyes were red as cherries, and the blonde's were so squinty they were slits.

"You… you're so…" Sasuke said in between bursts of manic laughter, "You're so stoned…"

Naruto giggled. "You can't talk man," he said, right before his stomach growled like an angry dog. This sent Sasuke, who had been collecting himself a bit, right back into hysterics.

"Dude I'm fucking hungry. Let's get some ramen!" said Naruto enthusiastically. Sasuke checked his pockets.

"I would, but I don't have any money…" he said, despairing over the fact that he would have to walk all the way home stoned, by himself, and on an empty stomach.

"Me either. The old man gives me free ramen if I smoke down with him. You're totally invited if you wanna come, he'll feed both of us, no charge," said the blonde, extending a hand to help Sasuke out of the bathtub.

"Really? Thanks, I appreciate it. I'll return the favor sometime," he said, staggering to his feet with Naruto's help.

"Don't worry about it, I struck a deal with Pervy-Sage, so now I get all the free stanky dank I can smoke," he said, grinning ear to ear.

"What deal?" Sasuke asked, intrigued as they made their way out of the bathroom and into Naruto's room.

Naruto began digging through his closet, finding a show box and opening it to reveal six or seven huge plastic bags filled to the brim with dank ass weed. He grabbed one and stuffed it in a nap sack and began explaining.

"Well, he taught me a bunch of new jutsu and stuff, right? But no matter how much he taught me I wouldn't teach him how to do my harem jutsu. So one day, he was like, 'Naruto, I've been thinking. And I have come to the decision that learning that special jutsu of yours is invaluable to my research. So I am willing to make a deal with you. I'll give you a free pound of refer if you teach me how to do that harem jutsu of yours,'" Naruto said as they made their way out of the house and down the street towards the ramen shop.

"So I was like, 'Whaaaaaat?' I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't smoke refer,' and he was all like 'Don't play dumb. Don't think I haven't looked through your bag. You and I both know that this is the only thing that will convince you to teach me,'" Naruto's impression of Jiraiya had Sasuke cracking up all over again.

"And so I was like, 'Ok, fine. But first, how are you going to get a pound of weed?' and he was like, 'Between you and me, I dabble in growing here and there…' And so then my mind started going in over drive, you know what I'm sayin'? So I was like, 'Well, we could do that or…' and Pervy-Sage was like 'OR WHAT?' and I was like 'Or… I could teach you the multi-harem jutsu and you could give me a pass for unlimited bud for life.'" He paused, looking at Sasuke.

"And here we are," he said with a smile as he finished with his story and the two arrived at the ramen shop at the exact same time.

"I see…" said Sasuke, who was a little preoccupied drooling at the smell of ramen, a food he usually found revolting but now it seemed like the most delicious smelling item on the planet.


	2. Chapter 2

High Times with Sasuke and Naruto

Part Two

By the way, I don't remember if I mentioned in the first chapter that this is when they're older, in the Shippudin.

(PS- I don't know the name of the old guy that works in Ichiraku, so he's just going by Old Man ^^ if anyone knows, feel free to clue me in, I'm too lazy to look)

"Ahh, Naruto, my favorite customer," the Old Man said, patting Naruto on the back.

"I see you have someone other than Iruka with you today," he said with a smile, referring to Sasuke, who was still drooling at the smell of ramen.

"Hey, Old Man. I'll be needing several bowls for me and my friend here," Naruto said, snapping in Sasuke's face to get his attention.

Sasuke jumped a little and shifted his attention back to the Old Man.

"That's fine, Naruto, but you know that I'll need a few bowls myself," he said with a grin, laughing at his own joke. "Come on back," the Old Man said. Sasuke followed Naruto back through the kitchen into a backroom that had Sasuke's jaw dropping.

The backroom was a small, dimly lit room with a low ceiling, just tall enough for the Old Man to stand up straight without hitting his head. If he was two inches taller he would have an issue. Shelves lined the walls of the room, going from the floor to the ceiling. Filling the shelves to the brim were more bowls, bongs, bubblers, and other types of pipes then Sasuke knew what to think of. In the middle of the room were several cushy looking chairs and a low table with some unlit sticks of incense in circular holders.

As Sasuke marveled at the Old Man's vast collection Naruto picked up a bowl and got the bag of weed out of his back pack and started breaking it up to pack it in the orange- red pipe.

"So you're the Uchiha kid, right? Sasuke, is it?" the Old Man's voice startled Sasuke out of his stupor.

"Uh…" Sasuke said, unable to come up with anything better than that to say in his current state of mind.

"Yeah that's him. He's too stoned to talk straight, so don't mind him," Naruto said, patting the chair next to him motioning for Sasuke to come and sit. Naruto retrieved a lighter from his pocket and gave it to the Old Man along with the bowl.

The Old Man lit up the bowl and took a long hit, passing it to Naruto as he exhaled through his nose. "So Sasuke, how long have you been a smoker?" the Old Man asked Sasuke, sinking back into his chair.

"I'm not a regular smoker, just on occasion you know," said Sasuke, taking the bowl from Naruto, taking a hit.

"This must be some occasion then, man," said Naruto, giggling. "You're goooooooooone."

"Speaking of occasions..." a female voice from the door made Naruto and Sasuke jump and turn around, wide-eyed. It was the Old Man's daughter standing in the doorway. "There's gonna be a party in The Hut tonight, you boys are invited. Not you, daddy. And feel free to bring some bud if you like," she said, winking at Naruto.

"I'll get you some ramen started," she said as she left.

Naruto turned to Sasuke. "You wanna go?"

"Where is 'The Hut?'" he asked.

"Only the best underground club in the whole village," the Old Man answered before Naruto could. "No one with wrinkles allowed though, unfortunately," he said, mocking a frown.

"Yeah," Naruto added excitedly. "It's literally underground, below the cemetery. You need an invite to get in, and we just got one."

Sasuke considered for a minute. He didn't have any plans and it sounded awesome.

"Sure, why not?"


End file.
